In today’s world, online and offline, talking about our bodies is such a sensitive subject because we are opening up a lot more about our insecurities but trying at the same time, to show the world that while we have flaws, we’re totally okay with them. There is criticism from all sides; I feel like you’re looked down upon for wanting to lose weight and you’re also told to embrace all your body shape no matter what shape you are and in turn, we’re criticized for not taking care of ourselves. What if you knew that you weren’t happy and you knew you needed to change? That’s what I want to discuss in today’s blog post and before we get started; this is about me and my body image, and all the little issues that I have with myself. This isn’t a reflection on anyone but me.
Disclaimer: I’ve been pretty hesitant to talk about weight loss online because I know so many people can be affected by this topic. There are so many that are affected by eating disorders and body dysmorphia and if you feel like you can’t read about weight loss, I would recommend clicking off this post.
I haven’t felt comfortable about my body for about two years and over that time, I have gained about thirty pounds (or just over two stone) which for someone of my height, can make you look drastically different. Now, I’m all for making sure your mental and emotional health is in a good place before you start looking at the physical side but I believe it all coincides with each other. I’ll give you an example; I run slower because I haven’t been exercising as much and because of this, I have gained weight. When I start running again, because I’m not at my old weight, I start to get exhausted faster and can’t run as fast as I used to be. This means that mentally I feel terrible because I’m not as good as I used to be. See how it all goes around in a circle but it’s all connected to each other? I completely understand when we’re told that we are more than our bodies and I couldn’t agree more. We are our unique personalities, our hobbies, our work ethic, our relationships, our outlook on life and how we treat people. For me, my body is just as important as those other factors and while the BMI scale says I’m almost obese (but let’s just leave the BMI scale conversation for another day, because I don’t want to have a rant…) I know myself that my body isn’t on the healthy side and it’s ultimately my responsibility to take control of that, in a healthy and balanced way.
(During my Summer off work, I got out on my bike almost every day and that helped me greatly with the daily sunshine and keeping my mind off not working.)
There’s not one sole reason why I gained weight, there is a bunch of little reasons but they all add up at the end of the day. I started adding more sweet treats into my diet, my breakfasts weren’t as good as they should have been, I wasn’t taking time to meal prep for the week and I wasn’t watching what I was eating. That’s just the diet side. I wasn’t running as much, I wasn’t going to the gym as much and I was driving to work than my old commute of an hour walk everyday. That’s not even getting into the mental side of it all which had a huge toll too. My point is, there are so many reasons why we can change and why our bodies change, so I’m not expecting to change everything around all in one day. I know I’ve been known to have very unrealistic expectations but even I know that that’s pushing the boat out.
(Getting back to this is one of my main objectives and this was at one of my first official races)
I know what I need to do to lose weight and by no means it is impossible, it’s just hard taking yourself out of your comfort zone and that’s something that I have been stuck in for quite a while. I love sleeping and I often need a nap in the evening because I’m so tired; you can imagine that I would rather sleep than go to the gym, and you would be correct. I also like sweet food but if I want to take care of my body, I have to cut down on the sugar; not completely but make an effort to not eat as much as I used to. See? Those are the two biggest obstacles I have to jump over to get back on track and they aren’t difficult, it’s getting yourself in that mindset and that’s probably the most difficult part of it all. I have already started and while I’m not going to state how much weight I have lost, I have started losing weight again and I am over the moon because I’m starting to feel myself again.
Thank you so much for reading today’s post, I know it can be tough to talk about such a controversial topic like weight loss or weight in general but it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while and has taken a while to edit down. If you have any feedback for me, I’d love to hear it either down below in the comments or over on my Twitter or my Instagram.