2019 Wasn’t My Running Year But That’s Okay.

Copy of I Never Want To Run A Marathon... And That’s Okay

It’s safe to say that sometimes we’re not always on our game; whether that’s for a day, a few weeks, a few months or even a year and that’s how I have felt this year with running. I want to deep dive today into why I think that is and why ultimately, it’s okay to have those moments.

I normally try and be pretty honest about my emotions because if you know me in real life, you know it’s very hard for me to hide how I feel. I have resting bitch face that can not be hidden and because I am so sensitive, that often shows itself very fast too. When it comes to most activities, I have to be careful on how I push myself. If you read one of my firsts posts about running (linked here), I talked about feeling horrible before, during and after a run because I wasn’t in the right headspace before and it was actually made worse going out for that run. I’m all for the benefits of exercise and the endorphins, and if that works for you, that’s perfect but for some of us, it doesn’t and that’s okay too. If I stress myself out too much, it tends to affect everything around me including my fitness amongst other things so I’ve learned over time that sometimes when I’m stressed, it’s like a domino effect and one of the first priorities that is affected, is my fitness.

IMG-20171110-WA0005-01.jpeg(My first ever 10K was “dress like you’re going to a wedding” theme and running in tights and a dress was definitely something new!)

Scott and I have dropped out of a number of races this year; one was in Canada and I was devastated over it but it wasn’t a lack of training that stopped us and that’s why I don’t feel terrible about it. I had an accident the day before the day and I had really hurt myself; I described it as belly flopping the ground when I tripped walking across a road. I have never been in so much pain in all my life and it does still affect me to this day so while I hate the fact that I couldn’t run the next day, it would have been impossible.

The other races were simply due to lack of training and not running enough beforehand. We have signed up for one or two 10K’s and one 10 mile race which I actually blogged about (which is linked here) and that one was the biggest disappointment for me. I had built it up in my head but when it came down to it, I didn’t put in the work and I was left with a decision; do I try and run and potentially hurt myself or do I not run, lose the money but understand the reason why I didn’t do it. I made the right decision completely and I’m still gutted that I didn’t do it, but there will always be other races and it’s not something I want to make myself feel guilty about forever.

IMG-20180620-WA0004-01.jpeg(Back when I set my 10K personal best at the Lisburn 10K in 2018)

2018 was such a fantastic running year for me and I couldn’t be prouder of that despite having a few iffy months emotionally so while I really don’t like the fact that I wasn’t as good this year as I was last year, that’s totally okay. If we’re really being honest, it actually gives me the drive to be even better next year. I know that we don’t have to wait until Monday or the start of the month to start our goals but I’m making an exception with this one. Sure, I’m still going to be running the rest of the year as much as I can, but the real work begins in January. I’m working towards the longer distances, my timings are going to be much faster and I’m going to set myself challenges along the way which will be as motivating as they were back in 2018.

Thank you so much for giving this post a few minutes of your time, it really means a lot to me. If you have any related content you’d like to share (because I love reading other’s running experience) please let me know either down in the comments or over on my Instagram or Twitter. Have a great week! 

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