Being a body shamer doesn’t just mean body shaming other people, you can be a body shamer by doing it to yourself. I take full responsibility for both so today I wanted to talk about body shaming..
This post is inspired by two things. Firstly, there’s a lovely YouTuber I watch called Avia (also known as thesparkleicious on YouTube) who I’ve been watching for a few years now. She seems so lovely and she talks about issues that many of us are thinking in her series “Woman to Woman” . One of these issues was body shaming and she spoke about fat shaming more specifically but I’ll be speaking about body shaming overall. The second thing I was inspired by was my own behaviour (after watching Avia’s video)
In Avia’s video (which is linked here) she talked about getting comments from someone about her body shape and how she looked on Instagram and on YouTube. That led her to reading an article about body shaming and she spoke about how she feels when it comes to talking to someone about how they look, whether that is their weight or their overall looks.
For me, I didn’t understand how someone could go out of their way to make a horrible comment on someone’s personal picture about something that doesn’t involve them. At the same time, I know I have made comments about a family members weight to them, not because I hate them and I wanted to be a horrible person (because I don’t) but it’s because I genuinely cared and I wanted to help. I never really thought about the fact that it’s probably not that helpful. Yes, I was pointing out the obvious but ever since watching Avia’s video, I’ve looked at my behaviour towards other people to see how I can change. In reality, I was being a massive hypocrite and I was and still am very ashamed of myself for ever thinking that was acceptable, even if it was a family member.
But what about my behaviour towards myself? If you sat me down and asked me what I liked about my body, I would ask you, “can I tell you what I don’t like instead?”. For me to think about something I like about my body is very difficult, I find a flaw with something. For example, I love my hair colour but my actual hair is thin, it’s so greasy and it falls out so easily. Another one would be I love when my nails are painted but my actual nails have become very flaky and they’re not as strong as they used to be.
My weight is something that I have struggled with ever since I lost a large amount of weight a few years ago. Having been through a weight loss journey and talking to others who have been through the same, I’ve started to realise that I’m not the only one who goes through these thoughts. I worry about gaining the weight back instantly, I worry about not fitting into something so I buy a bigger size and it makes me look even bigger than I am. What also fits into that is trying on a size that you’re meant to be and it being too tight and those thoughts of “You’ve gained weight, it’s starting again” creep in. Now this could be one of two things; either you have actually gained a little weight back (which in hindsight, isn’t a big deal) or you’re in a shop where their sizing is so up the left that it’s really a guessing game what size of clothes you really are wearing. (Don’t get me started on clothing sizes in the UK).
I’m not going to sit here and say that I’m so happy with my body because I’m simply not. I make numerous comments to myself on a daily basis about my body and my looks, that’s something I’m trying to control but to be begin with, it’s very tough. “Well Victoria, if you’re so unhappy, why not change what you don’t like?” We all have that little voice in our heads and that’s mine. Funnily enough, I make choices on a daily basis to try and improve myself; I eat a fairly healthy diet, I drink lots of water, I don’t drink alcohol or smoke and I go to the gym about four or five times a week. This isn’t a new thing by the way, I’ve been doing this for a while but I just need to find a balance with really making a difference to my body and changing my attitude towards myself.
To end this post today, please go and watch Avia’s video and if you were like me and body shamed without even realising it, I think you’ll take a step back and reflect on what you can change. I’m all for being yourself but if you’re hurting someone (or yourself) with your words, you need to realise that that’s not okay and change your attitude by looking at it through another perspective. How would you feel if someone was saying it to you? Would you like it? If you’ve asked no to those, then you know that you need to look at your own outlook on it.
Let me know what you thought of today’s post. Do you body shame? Have you been body shamed? What are your thoughts on it all? Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this ❤